Knute and Improved

by Knute Lombardi
September 27, 2006
Exlusive to TrueAggies.com/UStateAgs.com

 

I've had a few revelations this week:

My wife switched us from cable to DirecTV meaning I no longer have the MTN. and can't see Utah or BYU games…and I don't care. It makes it tougher to write the column because I have to work to see the games now but really, who cares?

The chicken fries with buffalo sauce at Burger King kick all sorts of butt.

Utah is better than I thought.

We just sold our home and are moving into a bigger one and it's not fun at all.

USU isn't as bad as I thought (they're young and a team of head cases right now coming off of a murderous OOC schedule. They're still bad, but for reasons that are correctible).

We just sold our home and are moving into a bigger one and it's not fun at all, in spite of the joy Mrs. Lombardi feels.

The Utah Jazz start training camp NEXT FREAKIN' WEEK!!!

This will be a good week for college football in Utah. Not that all the teams will win, but I think we are in for some good games for a change.

Back to my second revelation: Getting the NFL network MORE than makes up for losing the MTN. in fact, I'll miss the high school football on channel 3 and 60 more than I'll miss the MTN.

BYU fans are still delusional. Jason Beck has a good game against a struggling USU team and the fans think he should supplant John Beck? Clearly the Relief Society sisters of every Ward south of Sandy have been bringing their Marijuana brownies to the Ward picnic.

My son's little league team (which I happen to help coach) is a juggernaut. Currently we are 6-0 and have given up an average of 3 points per game with 3 shutouts. That's not really a revelation, I just wanted to toot my son's (okay and my own a little) horn. He's the starting tailback and left OLB. Needless to say dad is one proud washed up ol' athlete.

How 'bout some awards?

The "Watch What You Eat" Award:

Goes to me. I just stole a handful of Skittles and a handful of M&M's from a co-worker's office candy jar. While the execution of the crime was flawless, the enjoyment of my ill-gotten booty left something to be desired. I put both handfuls in a pile on my desk and took one here and there, which was fine, but then I scooped up quite a few at once and popped them in my mouth. The flavor explosion of fruity Skittles and chocolaty M&M's was reminiscent of the last time I barfed. Not good. This award brought to you as a public service announcement from the good folks at the "That's What You Get For Stealing" Foundation.

The "Thank Goodness THAT'S Over" Award:

To the boys at USU. Look at their out of conference schedule: @ Wyoming, Arkansas and BYU, home against Utah. Those teams are only a combined 9-7 but BYU should be 4-0 and Arkansas' only loss was the season opener against USC and Wyoming's losses are by a combined 15 points. It was a brutal schedule for a young team and now it's in the rear view mirror. Conference games will be a better barometer of where this team is. They will get shellacked by Boise, Nevada and Fresno but they should show well against everyone else. Are they a lock to beat any WAC teams? No. But they should have a chance against all but the aforementioned "Big Three". If they get blown out by Idaho or NMSU then even the real diehards at USU will be have to be talked off the ledge. This team is still 2 years away from people rationally expecting them to compete.

The "And Brother Jim Jones Will Be Providing Kool-Aid for the Ward Party" Award:

To that segment of Cougar Nation (and it's a big one) that thinks Jason Beck played his way into the starting line-up last Saturday. I mentioned this above but it's too good to leave along. I'll beat this dead horse until the stick breaks. These are the unofficial rules of being a hard core Koogurrr:

You know more than Bronco and you know WAAAAAAY more than Robert Anae.

You don't know more than LaVell…but you did when he was still coaching.

You once beat Norm Chow's son's team in Church flag football so that pretty much proves you know more than Norm Chow too.

You aren't afraid to share your great knowledge with the great unwashed masses by approaching the telephone pulpit at the KSL1160 Ward and bear your testimony of your gridiron gift of genius.

Your ringtone for your friends is "Rise and Shout".

Your ringtone for your wife is "Utah Man".

You believe BYU football is a missionary tool.

You think all Utah and USU fans are "non-members".

You think all LDS members who are Utah and USU fans are prodigals whom you would like to bring back to the fold by using the great conversion tool, BYU football.

You think Curtis Brown is a terrible running back. In fact, you don't know why BYU even bothers with running backs.

You are reading this and don't think it's funny and will definitely send Knute an email telling him Satan has power over him and has made him a blasphemer.

The "LOL Email of the Week" Award:

From alert reader Matt who sent me this gem:

Logan, (UT)--Utah State University Aggie football practice was
delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an
unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach
Brent Guy immediately suspended practice and called the police and
federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic
experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was
the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team
was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

The Rollin', Rollin', Rollin' Keep Those Doggies Rollin' " Award:

To the Utes. That phone call Chris Hill made to Stew Morrill about scheduling really helped the Utes out. Even with all the injuries they've suffered they've gotten on a roll by feasting on patsies and their confidence is sky high heading into the meat of their schedule. Now if only someone from USU would stroll on down to Stew's office and ask him for a little help.

Let's break out The Ol' Crystal Ball shall we?

TOCB is sitting at 9-1 but it's nothing to brag about if you look at the games. NOW things get interesting.

BYU @ TCU

I still think BYU is better than their record, and I still think that John Beck is a pretty good QB. Having said that, I think TCU is going to make all those Jason Beck fans feel like they are right. TCU was known for offense last year but their defense this year is scary good. They shut down an offense much like BYU's already (Texas Tech) and they've had a week to get ready coming off of a bye. Couple that with a head coach who just might be crazy (watch Gary Patterson on the sidelines waddling around barking to himself. If you saw him on the streets you'd cross to the other side.) and you have a recipe for Cougar Stew. By the way USU fans, does it just make you wince to watch what Patterson is doing at TCU and realize he was once on staff up there? And what goes through your mind when you watch Bob Petrino at Louisville? Too bad they weren't as good as Dave Arslanian or maybe they could have taken over after coach Weatherbie. Sorry. That was uncalled for.

TCU 23, BYU 13

Boise State @ Utah

So it's Boise's turn eh? They are the latest math club chick trying to crash the cool kids graduation party. There's no reason they shouldn't go undefeated in the WAC. They've beaten Wyoming and OSU (Overated State University in Corvallis, Oregon) and now they roll into Taxpayer Stadium with designs on ending up in the coat closet with the Captain of the football team by the time this party is over. Grab your calculator and head back to your Star Trek role playing game group Miss Bronco because the Great Basin Indigenous Desert Dwelling Peoples have seen your type before. In fact, they WERE your type a couple of years ago, then they changed their hair, got contacts to replace the Coke-bottle glasses and were transformed into the hottest chick at the party. Of course they got a bad case of acne last year and were knocked down a peg or six but in their short time with the popular kids they saw the other side and they want back there. They also know how bad you want it too and won't overlook you like a certain school an hour south would because of some misplaced superiority complex. That being said, BSU won't go quietly into the night so I expect a catfight.

Utah 34, BSU 30

Idaho @ USU

This is it Aggie fans, this is the week! USU is going to do it. They will finally score a touchdown! The question is, will they score more than one? Because Idaho is a Nation Power. Just ask their fans. Listening to the rhetoric out of Moscow each summer and early fall makes me wonder if they aren't BYU's doppelganger. "Dennis Erickson is the headman there again and he'll do everything in his power to return Idaho to glory" they say. When were they glorious? And will a return to glory be worth the NCAA sanctions that will surely follow? Maybe I'm being too hard on poor Dennis…or not.

As for the Aggies, they moved the ball against BYU but got more uptight than accountant in a casino in the redzone. Looking at their games, they did some things right in every game save for the Utah game. Their biggest enemy has been themselves but Idaho isn't the caliber of team they have been playing. On paper these two teams look pretty similar with each having a defense that has really tried to compete but an offense that can't get it together. Idaho has played a tough OOC schedule as well so they feel like they finally are in a game where they should dominate. So if USU starts slow will they pack it in? If they start fast will the confidence build and the floodgates open? They fired the OC 4 games in for "philosophical differences" with head coach Brent Guy. Let's hope coach Guy's philosophy includes scoring. I have a hunch Guy's philosophy includes heavy doses of Marcus Cross and using the tight end. I'm still not sold on Leon Jackson at QB but Guy doesn't seem to be signalling a move there but I wonder if he will if LJ3 doesn't step up his production in conference play.

TOCB tells me to pick Idaho but I'm going to go against TOCB and give the Aggies some love for some reason. Knute Vetoes the TOCB pick and picks USU.

USU 17, Idaho 16

Thar she blows sports fans! Enjoy the games.

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As always, you can email feedback, or comments and suggestions to Knute at knute@aggies.com

Knute