Knute-ron Bomb

by Knute Lombardi
September 22, 2006
Exlusive to TrueAggies.com/UStateAgs.com

 

I'm making a vow this week.

Momma Lombardi said if you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all. Obviously mamma was both a plagiarist and not a sports fan. But after last week's debacle in Romney Stadium this may be a USU free column.

The Knuties

The "Maxwell Smart" Award:

To Byu. They missed it by thaaaaat much. There's been a lot of talk about BYU having problems and not finishing games etc. etc. blah, blah, blah. But I say that at this point in the season, the Zoo is a better team than the Great Basin Indigenous Desert Dwelling Peoples. Utah has played UCLA and…and…AND?! BYU came within a whisker of beating a PAC-10 team (not a good one, no but they'd beat NAU and USU by at least 20 points each) and a nationally ranked team that needed a BYU-esque play to preserve the victory. Which brings us to…

The "BYU Bounce" Award:

Back in the BYU glory years there was always a saying about a fortuitous call or play or ball bounce. It was called the "BYU Bounce". To those south of the Zion Curtain in Happy Valley, this was a sign of the Almighty's abiding love for his Coogs. To those not blinded by Cougar blue (people those in Provo call "non-members" if not affiliated with the LDS church and "Godless Heathens Likely to Burn in Hell" if you are LDS who happens to like a team other than BYU) it was a bane and another reason to hate the Zoo. Well, Boston College got the BYU Bounce Saturday and it seems opponents have been getting the BYU Bounce in close games far more often the last couple of years. Must be too many co-eds wearing their flip-flops to church or something.

The "Momma Said if you can't say Anything Nice" Award:

To USU

The "Schedule that Would Make K-State Proud" Award:

To the Utes who showed they don't belong in the elite in week one but served notice that if you are a struggling program or a D-1AA program you better watch out because we'll beat you like you stole something. It's hard for me to bash on Utah (and all the bashing I do is good natured chop busting you all know that right?) because I really like Kyle Whittingham and I love how tough the Utes are on defense and up front. It's the kind of program USU should want to be if/when it grows up.

The "Please Stop Asking Me to Pay Your Gambling Debt" Award:

To those misguided souls who use TOCB to bet against the spread rather than straight up. Please, TOCB is purely for entertainment purposes and actual scores aren't part of the TOCB mystique. Please stop emailing death threats to me and TOCB. It's not our fault you are a degenerate gambler who bets the mortgage money on the online predictions of an internet hack. In the immortal words of Jerry Seinfeld, "Let's keep this sophisticated."

The "Touchdowns? We Don't Need No Steenking Touchdowns" Award:

To USU. Remember what mama said.

The "Never Met Mama Lombardi" Award:

To Ryan Hatch at Sportsradio 1280 The Zone. Wednesday he referenced an interview with Kelly Poppinga (former Aggie LB now playing for a college team) in which Poppinga said something to the effect of having to be ready to play or else they could get beat. Hatch referenced that comment and then said, (and I paraphrase liberally) "You really do have to get ready to play if you're USU and you're playing Box Elder or Northridge or Fremont. If BYU isn't ready to play, they may only win by 20 or 24 points.". Ooooofffffff. Clearly Mr. Hatch has never met Mama Lombardi.

Now on to The Ol Crystal Ball!!

USU @ BYU

TOCB would like to apologize to Ute fans for underestimating their ability to capitalize on ineptitude. I know crowing about that win is like the Duke Lacrosse team bragging about their prowess with the ladies but you have to give the Utes credit. They came in and crushed a struggling team rather than play around and risk letting USU hang around. The most intrigue left in USU's season is if the Aggies decide to make a QB change. LJ3 hasn't been able to do the job (in fairness to him, it's hard to do the job when you are running for your life) but it's his decision making the few times he has had time that has tongues wagging in USU circles. Those same tongues are wagging about OC Mike Santiago's scheme. Marcus Cross is a weapon, why not use the guy. Oh, and it's rumored that there are even tight ends on this team. If you were to ask the average Aggie fan who the president of Iran is they would answer, "Mike Santiago". There are no easy answers in Logan but this start is confusing. Supposedly there is more talent at USU than last year but the only fire many fans see is with an outmanned and beleaguered defense. There are those who say Brent Guy has already lost this team and that is alarming. After somehow only getting an official attendance count of just over 20,000 for the Utah game (does Romney suddenly only hold 22,000? Is someone in high places trying to set the fan base up to take the blame for the death of USU football because they couldn't average 15K?) there may not be a team left to lose much longer. That is the top fear of the faithful Aggie fans and it is real. This team is young, they have some talent and facilities improvements are on the way, don't lay down and die yet Aggie fans. Just don't watch the game this week. BYU is a 15% tithing check away from being 3-0 and even though they have a HUUUUUUGE game against TCU next Thursday, they won't lose this one.

BYU 49 USU 21 (that's total yards, not points. Sorry Mama Lombardi.)

Utah @ SDSU

The Utes National Cupcake Tour sponsored by Hostess continues with a stop in sunny San Diego. The Aztecs shocked the Utes (and TOCB) last year as the Utes played a terrible game. The Great Basin Indigenous Desert Dwelling People will make no such errors this year even with all the injuries they are racking up. No matter how sunny the day is in San Diego, Utah will still stomp a mudhole in the Aztecs.

Utah 34 SDSU 14

That's it folks, enjoy the football this weekend!

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As always, you can email feedback, or comments and suggestions to Knute at knute@aggies.com

Knute